no pasa nada

todo bien
esta bien

ive been foolish to such an extent that i shouldve realized i was far off what is acceptable. i should stop the constant worrying; it never leads anywhere good. i want to learn to be in peace by myself, without any so-called problem hanging over my shoulders, consuming my thoughts and happiness. but i havent done that before. being without anguish, i mean. i wonder who i would be without the "problem". hahahaha. if so - i sure enough would have to change my blog title.

im sorry ive been writing in such codes as of late. its just that ive been feeling very emotional the last couple of days. yesterday i fell asleep crying and when i woke up i cried a bit. if someone asks- whats up, martine? why do you look so sad? - i dont know what to say. in the afternoon i cried. but luis comforted me and somehow it made me happy so hear that he didnt want me so be sad. i dont understand myself these days. but ya! enough. i want to remove all doubts and just go with it. and do as ive been adviced: live in the now and enjoy. no pasa nada.

i think perhaps i miss home - without realizing it. cyber hug!