This is my journey: Perú

Back in 2008 I made a list of the places I want to see before I die. During that time I have been able to see Palenque in Mexico. On the top of my list is Machu Picchu in Perú. Since I am a girl who believes in fulfulling ones dreams, I decided to set my vacacion of la semana santa to this destination. And the day has finally come!

Tonight I am taking the bus to the capital, DF. I will arrive at around 5 AM. 7 AM my flight leaves for Colombia. I have to wait on the airport of Bogotá for 6 hours before my next flight will take me to the capital of Perú, Lima. In Lima I will be staying with my friends from my studies in Norway: Linn Viktoria, Barbro and Hege Linn. They are living at the students recidence of La Catolica and are studying there this year. After spending 4 days or so in Lima, the plan as of now is that Viktoria and Barbro are joining me on the bus to the city ofAyacucho . After a couple of days there, I will be on my own. I will probably travel by train to the following sights: Lake Titicaca, Machu Picchu and then ending my trip in the beautiful Cuzco. After 12 days of travelling my return flight is from Cuzco.



Here is my plan:
# Lima (Plaza Mayor + Peru Museum + city center)

# Ayacucho

# Machu Picchu + Inca trail

# Cuzco (Plaza de Armas + cathedral + Sacsayhuaman fortress + Sacred Valley)

# Puno + Titicaca Lake (including Uros - floating islands) + Sillustani Funeral Towers


Wish me luck! I will need it!

innlevering til eksamen i tegning

i dag maatte vi levere inn 10 tegninger for vurdering i "dibujo"-faget mitt.
vi la dem utover i midten av klasserommet mens el maestro, Humberto, kritiserte tegningene. de to foerste som vise tegningene sine var veldig flinke, saa jeg kjente jeg fikk litt prestasjonsangst. heldigvis var de foelgende visningene ikke av samme kvalitet, saa jeg senket skuldrene mine litt mer da det ble min tur. jeg fikk ganske bra kritikk. selvfoelgelig likte laereren min den tegningen jeg var minst fornoeyd med. typisk:p

harproblemer med aa laste opp bilder, saa sjekk heller ut det nyeste bildene paa facebook.

skal se Alice en el país marvillioso i kveld med Luis:) gleder meg.

I morgen har jeg eksamen i arte prehispanico. tror det skal gaa greit...

Dette er "El Luchador"

my first "quinceañera"

friday me, gustavo and luis set out in luis´ car - and drove to ramzes´pueblo outside of morelia to attend the 15th birthday party of his sister, isabel. in many latin american countries the 15th birthday of girls is a big deal. like the "sweet sixteen" in the states. families will spend huge amounts of money on having a kick ass celebration, and they save money for this day for years... while driving there, i realized i had forgotted my tampons in gto. i asked if there would be any shops where we were going. and luis asked what i needed. it was quite emberassing, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. we ended up looking for tampons in three different places; first in gas station, then in a "Oxxo", but we didnt find it until we stopped at a big supermarked in moroleon. hahaha


we met up with my host mom lourdes and ramzes. we sat by a table and were served food and all the beer we could drink. we started drinking at 4 pm... there were mariachis playing in the back., and after a while luis and gustavo started singing along to every song. all the beer made me want to pee alot. but, we were in a simple rural pueblo, and there weren´t any bathrooms around us. which meant that us ladies would have to go behind some old church ruins to do the necessary. i had to laugh - this was really mexico.

around 9 pm the quinceañera and her selected dance partners entered the stage and performed a rehearsed dance. it was cool to look at.
the bday girls preformes one of her dances
shortly after, luis followed me to the car cus i wanted to get my jacket. he had been drinking more than i had, so he told me he wanted to rest for a bit in the car. i went back to the party. me and gustavo joined the other kids dancing to reaggeton tunes. alot of fun!
about 1 am me and lourdes decided to withdraw ourselves...it had been a long night..., with alot of conversacions that perhaps one would´ve been better without. we hiked a ride with ramz´uncle to the house we were gonna sleep. on the way we stopped to pick up the grandparents. the other kids jumped in the back of the car to make space. we slept in a house with 4 beds. i slept a good 3 hours before the guys awoke me at 4 am. luis had awoken shortly after our departure and was feeling fine, whereas gustavo had been drinking heavily all day. i was shocked to know that luis had driven the car to the house., but he said - relax! its mexico.

got up at around 8-9. drove to morolean, where we stopped for one hour. we went downtown to check out all the cheap clothes (the town is famous for its cheap clothes). i bought a tights to 90 pesos (40NOK), a denim bag (70 pesos) and a denim skirt to 90 pesos. very pleased with this.
from moroleon me, gustavo and lourdes continued in bus to irapuato, where we had to change bus to guanajuato. we were back in town at around 4.30pm. boughts some pizza. went to bed early.


la familia. i share house with ramzes to the right in guanajuato

me and lourdes
8)
luis, ramzes, me and gustavo - 3 of my 4 host brothers
me and gustavo
luis and meee;)

litt praktisk info

her i guanajuato flyr dagan. har snart vaert her i to hele maaneder! det foeles ikke saann ut. eller kanskje, paa en maate. har jo opplevd mye, og den norske kulda virker merkelig fjern. problemene her er faa., livet er generelt veldig greit. jeg tar 5 fag, men de tar ikke like mye energi som i norge., saa jeg er overlatt med ganske mye fritid. denne fritiden bruker jeg paa aa spise, moete en venn eller to paa café, eller aa trene. jeg har begynt aa trene ganske mye. nesten hver dag. jeg har faatt sansen for aa springe med bikkjene i en park som ligger like ved. de tispene trenger all mosjonen de kan faa, for til daglig er de fastbundet i hagen med lite mobilitet. jeg synest synd i dem, saa hvorfor ikke ta de med paa loepebanen naa og da. ellers har jeg kjoept med et treningskort paa et treningssenter like ved skolen. hittil har jeg kun bertalt for aa bruke vekter/tredemoelle, og ikke saltimer. jeg har ikke helt sansen for spinning og slike ting. men kanskje neste maaned boer jeg proeve noen nye aktiviteter - yoga, pilates, zumba... for ikke aa snakke om at jeg burde begynne aa ta salsatimer.
det har blitt lite salsadansing hittil. er nok litt for sjenert til aa slaa ut haaret uten viten om den noedvendige grunnteknikken! det er typisk norsk og ikke toerre aa proeve noe nytt, fordi man ikke er god i det! men det er jo et kjent faktum at oeving gjoer mester. det er litt innteressant, det med aa hive seg ut i nye ting, og hvor forskjellig det er her i forhold til norge. ta karaokebarene, for eksempel. her er alle superivrige etter aa faa synge sine sure toner, mens i norg ville man heller spist hoppetau enn aa utsette seg for en slik offentlig ydmykelske. eller dersom det skal taes et bilde - her flokker alle som kan seg til linsen, mens hjemme i norge saa snur man seg heller bort og unnskylder seg med hvor lite fresh man foeler seg... - "IKKE FACE, OKAY?" Her i Mexico roper alle etter et bilde er blitt tatt: "FACEBOOK!" Jeg tror aabsoluitt janteloven preger det norske samfunnet i alt for hoey grad. - du skal ikke tro du er noen.

skolen er grei. liker best kunstfagene jeg tar. om 5 dager er det praktisk innlevering til eksamensvurdering i "tegning"-faget mitt. vi maa levere inn 10 tegninger, pluss en stor tegning paa minium 1 x 1,5 meter! jeg kjoepte meg en stor papirrull i dag og jeg og Nestor, kompisen min, satte paa musikk og limte lerretene paa veggen og satte igang med aa vaere kunstneriske. jeg brukte kullstifter og han splaesjet sporadisk paa med maleklatter. det var goey!


noen av tegningene fra "dibjuo" faget mitt

han er en bra venn. har faatt et par venner her og en hel del bekjente. av og til foeler jeg meg litt ensom, men det man maa taale aa vaere til tider. ironisk nok tror jeg at jeg har bitt mindre uavhenging enn jeg var da jeg kom. kjenner jeg er blitt veldig avhengig av aa ha folk rundt meg. tror det er som foelge av at jeg har bodd i kollektiv i Bergen over et aar - og er blitt vant til aa ha noen der dersom jeg har behov for aa snakke med noen, eller rett og slett bare henge.







paa mandag dro jeg og Nestor til det lokale mumie-museet. disse forsteinede likene ble funnet forskjellige brakker her i Guanajuato, og er mindre enn 200 aar gamle. dvs. at de fremdeles har klaerne sine paa, og noen av mumiene har det vaert mulig og identifisere. snaale greier. de var veldig ekle aa se paa. jeg troestet meg selv med at jeg aldri kommer til aa ende opp slik, fordi jeg skal hvertfall bli kremert da jeg doer.

Nestor paa vei til mumie-museet

et utvalg av de relativt freshe lokale mumiene

ellers skal jeg til en naboby paa fredag med folka jeg bor med, for aa feire 15-aarsdagen til en av vertsbroedrene mine sin lillesoester. 15 aarsdagen til mexicanske jenter is a big deal, og det feires stort! kommer til aa bli artig. skal overnatte der til lordagen. gleder meg til aa pynte meg. luis skal kjoere her i fra i en av bilene sine.haha. jeg har blitt lovt shotgun.

ellers ellers...blir det jo Perú om noen uker. jeg er lite forberedt mentalt paa den over 10 dager lange reisen. jeg skal fly fra Mexico City - Bogotá - Lima. Jeg maa henge 6 timer paa flyplassen i Colombia! kanskje jeg kan ta meg en tur utenfor....:) Og flyturen hjem tar jeg fra Cuzco - Lima - Mexico City. Flyturene har mellomlanding, og det er nok derfor billettene var saa billige. Jeg skal besoeke venner i Lima noen dager, forhaapentligvis gaa inkastien til macchu pichu, kanskje faa sett Titicaca-sjoen, og saa avslutte turen i det vakre Cuzco-landskapet.

jeg er litt usikker paa hvordan jeg ligger an oekonomisk for tiden. kommer ikke inn paa nettbanken til spv. her. men jeg tror jeg ligger bra an. det eneste er at jeg mottok all laan og stipend fra laanekassen for dette semesteret paa samme tid i januar. lett aa bruke penger hvis man har det...men jeg har satt en et shoppeforbud paa klesfronten. det hjelper nok litt.

vel det var alt for denne gang. kommenter gjerne.

no pasa nada

todo bien
esta bien

ive been foolish to such an extent that i shouldve realized i was far off what is acceptable. i should stop the constant worrying; it never leads anywhere good. i want to learn to be in peace by myself, without any so-called problem hanging over my shoulders, consuming my thoughts and happiness. but i havent done that before. being without anguish, i mean. i wonder who i would be without the "problem". hahahaha. if so - i sure enough would have to change my blog title.

im sorry ive been writing in such codes as of late. its just that ive been feeling very emotional the last couple of days. yesterday i fell asleep crying and when i woke up i cried a bit. if someone asks- whats up, martine? why do you look so sad? - i dont know what to say. in the afternoon i cried. but luis comforted me and somehow it made me happy so hear that he didnt want me so be sad. i dont understand myself these days. but ya! enough. i want to remove all doubts and just go with it. and do as ive been adviced: live in the now and enjoy. no pasa nada.

i think perhaps i miss home - without realizing it. cyber hug!

yo no sé mañana

perhaps sometimes you just have to jump into it
knowing the consequences will be hard to deal with
i once read a phrase that i remembered:
"above all...guide your heart"
but at the same time, no risk - no reward
i guess there aren´t any manuals to happiness

i told him of my worries of the time to come
and he told me to relax
and focus on the now
and of course, he was right


picture from my favorite café in town, Antik

tk = te quiero;)

yesterday was a fun day. woke up at 7, ate my daily hotcakes with maple, and went to my painting class at 8. we´re in the studio for 3 hours and i love it. we started on a new project. i will put a pic out when im done. it think its gonna be rad. at first i lacked selfconciousness of my ability to produce good art. i felt as i was an wannabe artist among all these talended kids who actually studies art. but now i dont worry so much about it. whitney said something smart about art; that everyone can do it, and it doesnt matter what other ppl think, as long as you let your self go and create something that means something to you. as long as u do just that, you´re fine. whitney is so wise and i am very fortunate that i got to know her. i hope one day i can visit her in Oregon.

after class i sat down on a bench and wrote in my journal, whilst soaking up the sun. these days the sun gets really warm and i have to apply sunscreen with factor 50in my face. later when i returned to casa i took Camilla out for a run. she was hyperactive and pulled the chain so strongly (shes a big dog),so that i fell and me knee started bleeding. it hurt. but as the typic norwegian i am, i immediately got up - checked if anyone had seen me, and started running like nothing had happend. hahaha.

i had prehispanic art class at 5, and got out at 7. me and some mates from class went to see an opening of an art exhibiton at La Casa del Cultura. anyone who wanted could contribute with their paintings. the theme was Jesus mother, Maria. needless to say, there was a mixed quality of the paintings, but some of them were really good.

after that me and a guy from my class, Mario, went to a mexican "cantina" to get a beer. These kind of places are almost only for men. It was an interesting experience. everyone was looking at the blonde who clearly was out of place. a guy walked up to me and offered to pay me a song on the old jukebox in the corner. how nice. i had never seen a jukebox before, and thought about "Grease". the men there went over to the corner of the bar to pee in a pissoar. i looked in the other direction, and mario had to laugh.

afterwards i met Maria. We went to Café Santo to grab a bite along with Woo, a Corean guy. i have a vegitarian salad. it was okay, but i like meat (sorry Kjersti). While there Luis texted me and he finished the message with "tq..." It kinda puzzled me,`cus i didnt undertand what the abbreviation stood for. I asked the waitor, and he said it meant "te quiero":)that made me smile. i smile alot these days.

Next off we went to La Luna to meet up with the other exchange students to celebrate one of the mexican girls´ birthday. i had a strawberry daqueri (duno how u spell that), but i wasnt really feeling it. it was monday and i had to get up early in the morning, so i went home. i went up to Luis´ room and we talked until midnight. i really like talking to him....

in other news i just figured out that i have to produce elleven drawings in the next 12 days for my drawing class exam. i think i need to start ahora mismo!

love is like a butterfly

went to Michoacán last saturday to see the famous butterfly reserve. it was amazing!

"Are you stalking me? because that would be super." - NOT!!!!

i have some bad news / good news.
first off i should probably share this with you guys. in the beginning of my stay here i randomly met this tall guy. i was sitting waiting for some friends in the stairs of Teatro Juarez, when his guy, arturo, walks by and decides to sit down and talk to me. i found him odd and incorrect, but in interesting way. being new in town and not knowing alot of ppl, i was naive enough to be open to get to know this stranger., because i wanted to make friends and have someone to conversate with in spanish. i agreed to go on a date with him once. and another day we hung out. he took my hand and told me he was in love with me and asked if i would be his girlfriend. i said no, that this was way too early to speak of such etc. after a while i heard rumours of this guy around town, and everybody was saying this guy is "loco". i soon figured out that this wasnt far away from the truth. he does drugs, bothers ppl and steals etc.

he kept on sending me texts describing how beautiful i am and what not, and it started to become annoying. i decided to break off whatever he thought was going on, so i met him in a garden. i told him that i did not want a boyfriend and this time and that i wanted to be alone. he didnt seem to take alot of notice of this and continued on as if nothing had happened. i figured he was okay with it and pretended not to care.

the following days he kept on texting me and saying he wanted to meet me. i reluctantly answered politely, but in a strictly platonic way. on valentine´day he called me, but i didnt answer. the second time he called, i answered. he asked me where i was at, bc he wanted to give me a gift. i reluctantly said where i was and he came to find me. i accepted the gifts (eventhough i prolly shouldn´t have), but told him that i didnt have anything for him. he said all that he wanted was my company. but i already had plans with some other friends in the park, so i told him i could not. then he said that he could walk with me to the park and we could say ´hello´, and leave. i was very bothered. i started walking in the direcction of the park, but i had to stop. i said: i appreciate your gift and everything, but i dont think you understood what i was saying to you the other day. I - AM - NOT - IN - LOVE- WITH -YOU. and wish to be alone. and i want to walk alone to the park." then he leans forward to kiss me! WTF! you dont respect someone when you do stuff like that right after getting a message like that... i turned away and said ´bye´and walked away.


after school i usually go to a café near the university, that´s called "Antik". unfortunately, this Arturo guy is often there as well, and one day he came into the café and sat down next to me. he told me he had been going to my school looking for me like crazy. i was politely ignoring him, but he didn´t get the hint. the staff of the café have told me that they dont like having him there., bc he doesnt pay and bothers the other customers... i shut down my laptop and payed for my coffee and left asap. but he insisted on following me... fuck.

the following night i awoke at 5 am., my phone was ringing. i answered in a daze. it was him. "Good night", he said. wtf. i hung up and turned off my phone. i overslept in the morning bc i hadnt been able to sleep much afterwards. i walked with whitney on the way to school, and we discussed the difficult situation i was having. she was on my side and advised me to be more harsh with him, bc he obviously wasnt getting it. - while i was sitting in my drawing class, i noticed in the corner of my left-eye him entering the classroom. he came over to me. i put down my drawing board and told him to go outside of the classroom with me. when we were outside i asked him "Are you here for me?" He answered that yes, he was. I told him that I did´nt care for that and nor did i like that he was calling me at 5 AM. Then he asked me "Are you angry?" - "SÍ!" i walked back into the classroom. one minute after he reentered, but walked over to the professor to talk about art. this presence really bothered me and i couldnt stand it. i got up and left the room..i went to the administration upstairs to talk to barbra, a nice lady thats there to help us in either way. i asked her if i could have a chat with her and she let me into her office. i was very frustrated with the situation and i didnt feel there was much left that i could do at this point about this guy. i started crying and explained what was going on, and that i really didnt like that he was in my classroom.
she was very understanding, gave me a hug and promised that there were plenty of things one could do abt the situation...
- loooong story sort of short; the art director heard abt it, and kicked him out of the school, telling him to stop bothering his students and that he is never allowed to access the school again. shortly after the "school guard" turns up with a policeman! they asked me some questions abt the situation and some practical info. the policeman told me he was going to go looking for him in the streets to have a chat with him.

the next day nothing happend. but i was scared of walking alone in the streets- looking over my shoulders, scared to meet him again. i hate feeling like that, like downgraded; pathetic and frightend. thats not me. i actually felt that the situation had worsoned after the indicent at school...that he might be mad at me and do something. but it was not i who had called the police. i felt that the situation was beyond my control at this point.
i didnt walk my usual route back home that day, but took another path that was more remote. less chance of encounter.

today the telephone rang. it was Barbra from the Uni. She told us that Arturo had been detained in jail! Because of me?? Me and ´mom´ walked to the police station to fill in a restraining order. At the police station they told us that, yes, this man had been detained there for abt 12 hours earlier, but was now on the loose. they informed ut that is was not bc of he`s stalking of me, but bc he hadnt payed for a meal at a restaurant... so it had been an misunderstanding. it kinda felt as a relief that he wasnt jailed bc of me. everything seemed so dramatic, and im not used to dealing with stuff like this. im too polite, scared of hurting someones emotions...which ultimately leads to me loosing the game.

we decided to come back on monday to make a so-called "acta" against his person. This means that the police will make personal contact with him and tell him that he cant come so-and-so meters near me again. that would be great to me. but at the same time i am having an ethic dilemma. i feel that the involvement from the police was not something i iniciated and that its too dramatic doing all of this. i feel sorry for him, bc he obviously has alot of problems...and i feel this may be too much. that the entire world is against him. but i over-think the situation. i dont have any responibility for him and all i want is to be left alone. this thing has taken alot of energy and worry from me, and all i wish right now is to get on with my wonderful life in Guanajuato.

the good news are;
i think i am in love!
at last!

you put a smile upon my face.

por siempre y para siempre

Aretha Franklin - I Say a Little Prayer

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever
and ever
you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever
and ever
we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together
forever
that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me, ooh

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever
and ever
you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever
and ever
we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together
forever
that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me
no body but me

My darling, believe me
For me there is no one but you
Please love me too
Answer my prayer
Answer my prayer now babe, oh-oh

Forever
and ever
you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever
and ever
we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together
forever
that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me, nobody but me

My darling, believe me
For me there is no one but you
Please love me too
Answer my prayer
Answer my prayer now babe
Say you love me too
Answer it right now babe
Answer my prayer

- translated into spanish by yours truly:

Al instante que me desperte
antes de que me maquillarme
hago una pequeña oración por ti
mientras me peino ahora
y pienso que vestida ponerme
hago una pequeña oración por ti

Por siempre
y para siempre
permaneces en mi corazón
y voy a amarte
por siempre
para siempre
nosotros nunca nos separaremos
Juntos
para siempre
esto es como tiene que ser
al vivir sin ti
solo podría significar mi corazón roto

Corro hacia el bus, amor
mientras viajando pienso en nosotros amor
hago una pequeña oración por ti
En el trabajo solo tomando tiempo
y dentro la hora de café
hago una pequeña oración por ti

Por siempre
para siempre
permaneces en mi corazón
y voy a amarte
por siempre
para siempre
nosotros nunca separaremos
oh, como voy a amarte
Juntos
Para siempre
esto es como tiene que ser
al vivir sin ti
solo podría significar mi corazón roto

hago una pequeña oración por ti
hago una pequeña oración por ti

Mi amor, creeme
Para mi no hay nadie como tu
Por favor, amame también
(Escuchara su oración ahora nene)
Estoy enamorada de ti
(Escuchara su oración nene)
Escuchara mi oración

Por siempre
para siempre
permaneces en mi crazón
oh, como voy a amarte
Juntos
para siempre
esto es como tiene que ser
al vivir sin ti
solo podría significa mi corazón roto.


I spent alot of time doing this, and go a little help from Lourdes. But when I searched for another translation of the song, it turns out mine was quite different. Take a look:

DESDE EL MOMENTO EN QUE ME DESPIERTO,
ANTES DE PONERME EL MAQUILLAJE,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.
MIENTRAS ME PEINO,
Y ME PREGUNTO QUÉ VESTIDO PONERME AHORA,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.

PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, TE QUEDARÁS EN MI CORAZÓN
Y YO TE AMARÉ.
PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, NUNCA NOS SEPARAREMOS.
OH, CÓMO TE AMO.
JUNTOS, PARA SIEMPRE, ASÍ ES CÓMO DEBE SER.
VIVIR SIN TI
SÓLO SIGNIFICARÍA UN CORAZÓN ROTO PARA MÍ.

CORRO AL ÓMNIBUS, QUERIDO,
MIENTRAS VIAJO PIENSO EN NOSOTROS, QUERIDO,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.
EN EL TRABAJO ME TOMO UN TIEMPO
Y DURANTE TODO MI DESCANSO PARA TOMAR CAFÉ,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.

PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, TE QUEDARÁS EN MI CORAZÓN
Y YO TE AMARÉ.
PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, NUNCA NOS SEPARAREMOS.
OH, CÓMO TE AMO.
JUNTOS, PARA SIEMPRE, ASÍ ES CÓMO DEBE SER.
VIVIR SIN TI
SÓLO SIGNIFICARÍA UN CORAZÓN ROTO PARA MÍ.

REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.

MI QUERIDO, CRÉEME,
PARA MÍ NO EXISTE NADIE MÁS QUE TI!
POR FAVOR ÁMAME TÚ TAMBIÉN.
Y YO ESTOY ENAMORADA DE TI.
RESPONDE A MI RUEGO AHORA, CARIÑO.

PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, TE QUEDARÁS EN MI CORAZÓN
Y YO TE AMARÉ.
PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, NUNCA NOS SEPARAREMOS.
OH, CÓMO TE AMO.
JUNTOS, PARA SIEMPRE, ASÍ ES CÓMO DEBE SER.
VIVIR SIN TI
SÓLO SIGNIFICARÍA UN CORAZÓN ROTO PARA MÍ.

she took me to a gay bar! gay bar!

last night me, my host sister Patty, and host mother Lourdes, went to a private gay bar called "Wish". we were cordinally invited by the boss. we were almost the only (real) ladies there. The audience acted rather rude by my opinion when the strippers entered some time around midnight. they were touching and stroking and grapping the dancer´s asses as if they were animals!!! i sure hope the dancers dance bc they want to, and not cus they have too...how horrible to be treated as an object like that. oh well, i wont deny that perhaps i objectifyed the good looking dancers from the table i was sitting, but at least i didnt walk up and grap theyre juicy stuff (ok ok, there is an picture of me looking like that, but the dancer invited me to do it!!)

the best day i can ever remember

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race from self-control.
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine.
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

The words are hushed, let's not get busted.
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered;
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey, did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close,
They can't hear, so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember.
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair,
That you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late.
And this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it and I let you in,
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist,
And you kissed me like you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it.
That you meant it, that you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

las cosas de la vida...

Fikk nylig en daarlig nyhet angaaende en venninne fra latinamerikastudiene i Norge. Ord kan aldri fullt dekke hvordan man kan takle slike hendelser. Mine tanker gaar foerst og fremst til de som stod henne naermest. I slike tilfeller kan man bare hedre minnet om personen og bevare de gode minnene.

Livet er som en rollercoaster. I disse dagene har mye bra skjedd og jeg har vaert lykkelig. Valentinsdagen var det samme. Saa skjer dette og perspektivet paa tilvaerelsen blir med ett snudd. Jeg har mange tanker og mange ting aa bearbeide.

better when we´re together

las night was a melancholic day for me
but it ended great and with a smile upon my face
when i returned home at night
there was a rose lying on my pillow
i like that and this might be the beginning of something new

there are some emotional things ive managed to make a mess out of
and i intend to make them right, as far as its possible


thats all for now, im off to meet the other exchange students to go play some sports! of course, i brought my volleyball! :) later

deep shit thoughts about the coexistence between loneliness and independency

so here i am again, at the internet café that lies between San Roca y San Fernando. i like to come here with a coffee after class and take my time on the world wide web; disconnect myself for a while, while i connect myself to my life back in Norway.

even though most days are sunny, unfortunately not all days within are likewise. there aren´t really anything big that makes me feel like this, some of these days. sometimes i get myself down and i curse myself for my own foolishness and my inability to change. they say that change comes without yourself noticing it...and i hope this is true., but i cant really see any signs. i am thinking that i might as well still be 16. for a while i pretended to brush all dirt off my shoulders, and ignore all the unpleasant things that would occur to me. i distanced myself mentally from the things that i needed to deal with.

little did i know that one day i would have to untangle every little crux of my issues, one by one...and rewind from Z to A. now i am getting some perspective on things.
i have always embraced the fact that i am an independent person and that i really dont need anyone but myself. for gods sake, i even tattooed "i walk alone" on my foot! in certainty that this was an unchangable and ever present fact; in which i choose to define myself. but at the same time a have this insane need of intimacy; but i can never give myself completely over to someone else. because i dont need them. i want my freedom, my liberty and my impulsiveness. if i let those qualities go - who would i then be? cus everyone knows that if you lose youself, you lose everything. but, what occured to me when sitting on the bus between San Miguel de Allende and Guanajuato the other week, is that this choice of solitude and the physical need for attention, simply do not collide. for too long have i been unaware of this dysfunctional relationship. who can live like that? it only leads to depression and dissatisfaction. exhausting!

what i came to realize is that: i am moving towards the wrong urge. in stead of moving towards the people, i withdrdaw myself to isolation; while telling myself this is a good thing. as long as i am independent, everything will be all right. but this is a lie. there is such a thing as being too independant. because you will end of alone. which might be my greatest fear of them all. and if i continue like this...well. i am 21 years old. i am still damn young. i have 21 summers, 21 new year´s eves, 21 birthdays. but how many loves can i look back at?

rapid change is overrated and i am weak, especially when it comes to my own promises. but i hope change will come, poco a poco. i hope one day i will have an awakening and understand that what is bad isn´t good for me. if you follow. i am tired of going in circles.

"Yeah, it's always better when we're together"
- jack johnson