fredag 26. februar 2010

"Are you stalking me? because that would be super." - NOT!!!!

i have some bad news / good news.
first off i should probably share this with you guys. in the beginning of my stay here i randomly met this tall guy. i was sitting waiting for some friends in the stairs of Teatro Juarez, when his guy, arturo, walks by and decides to sit down and talk to me. i found him odd and incorrect, but in interesting way. being new in town and not knowing alot of ppl, i was naive enough to be open to get to know this stranger., because i wanted to make friends and have someone to conversate with in spanish. i agreed to go on a date with him once. and another day we hung out. he took my hand and told me he was in love with me and asked if i would be his girlfriend. i said no, that this was way too early to speak of such etc. after a while i heard rumours of this guy around town, and everybody was saying this guy is "loco". i soon figured out that this wasnt far away from the truth. he does drugs, bothers ppl and steals etc.

he kept on sending me texts describing how beautiful i am and what not, and it started to become annoying. i decided to break off whatever he thought was going on, so i met him in a garden. i told him that i did not want a boyfriend and this time and that i wanted to be alone. he didnt seem to take alot of notice of this and continued on as if nothing had happened. i figured he was okay with it and pretended not to care.

the following days he kept on texting me and saying he wanted to meet me. i reluctantly answered politely, but in a strictly platonic way. on valentine´day he called me, but i didnt answer. the second time he called, i answered. he asked me where i was at, bc he wanted to give me a gift. i reluctantly said where i was and he came to find me. i accepted the gifts (eventhough i prolly shouldn´t have), but told him that i didnt have anything for him. he said all that he wanted was my company. but i already had plans with some other friends in the park, so i told him i could not. then he said that he could walk with me to the park and we could say ´hello´, and leave. i was very bothered. i started walking in the direcction of the park, but i had to stop. i said: i appreciate your gift and everything, but i dont think you understood what i was saying to you the other day. I - AM - NOT - IN - LOVE- WITH -YOU. and wish to be alone. and i want to walk alone to the park." then he leans forward to kiss me! WTF! you dont respect someone when you do stuff like that right after getting a message like that... i turned away and said ´bye´and walked away.


after school i usually go to a café near the university, that´s called "Antik". unfortunately, this Arturo guy is often there as well, and one day he came into the café and sat down next to me. he told me he had been going to my school looking for me like crazy. i was politely ignoring him, but he didn´t get the hint. the staff of the café have told me that they dont like having him there., bc he doesnt pay and bothers the other customers... i shut down my laptop and payed for my coffee and left asap. but he insisted on following me... fuck.

the following night i awoke at 5 am., my phone was ringing. i answered in a daze. it was him. "Good night", he said. wtf. i hung up and turned off my phone. i overslept in the morning bc i hadnt been able to sleep much afterwards. i walked with whitney on the way to school, and we discussed the difficult situation i was having. she was on my side and advised me to be more harsh with him, bc he obviously wasnt getting it. - while i was sitting in my drawing class, i noticed in the corner of my left-eye him entering the classroom. he came over to me. i put down my drawing board and told him to go outside of the classroom with me. when we were outside i asked him "Are you here for me?" He answered that yes, he was. I told him that I did´nt care for that and nor did i like that he was calling me at 5 AM. Then he asked me "Are you angry?" - "SÍ!" i walked back into the classroom. one minute after he reentered, but walked over to the professor to talk about art. this presence really bothered me and i couldnt stand it. i got up and left the room..i went to the administration upstairs to talk to barbra, a nice lady thats there to help us in either way. i asked her if i could have a chat with her and she let me into her office. i was very frustrated with the situation and i didnt feel there was much left that i could do at this point about this guy. i started crying and explained what was going on, and that i really didnt like that he was in my classroom.
she was very understanding, gave me a hug and promised that there were plenty of things one could do abt the situation...
- loooong story sort of short; the art director heard abt it, and kicked him out of the school, telling him to stop bothering his students and that he is never allowed to access the school again. shortly after the "school guard" turns up with a policeman! they asked me some questions abt the situation and some practical info. the policeman told me he was going to go looking for him in the streets to have a chat with him.

the next day nothing happend. but i was scared of walking alone in the streets- looking over my shoulders, scared to meet him again. i hate feeling like that, like downgraded; pathetic and frightend. thats not me. i actually felt that the situation had worsoned after the indicent at school...that he might be mad at me and do something. but it was not i who had called the police. i felt that the situation was beyond my control at this point.
i didnt walk my usual route back home that day, but took another path that was more remote. less chance of encounter.

today the telephone rang. it was Barbra from the Uni. She told us that Arturo had been detained in jail! Because of me?? Me and ´mom´ walked to the police station to fill in a restraining order. At the police station they told us that, yes, this man had been detained there for abt 12 hours earlier, but was now on the loose. they informed ut that is was not bc of he`s stalking of me, but bc he hadnt payed for a meal at a restaurant... so it had been an misunderstanding. it kinda felt as a relief that he wasnt jailed bc of me. everything seemed so dramatic, and im not used to dealing with stuff like this. im too polite, scared of hurting someones emotions...which ultimately leads to me loosing the game.

we decided to come back on monday to make a so-called "acta" against his person. This means that the police will make personal contact with him and tell him that he cant come so-and-so meters near me again. that would be great to me. but at the same time i am having an ethic dilemma. i feel that the involvement from the police was not something i iniciated and that its too dramatic doing all of this. i feel sorry for him, bc he obviously has alot of problems...and i feel this may be too much. that the entire world is against him. but i over-think the situation. i dont have any responibility for him and all i want is to be left alone. this thing has taken alot of energy and worry from me, and all i wish right now is to get on with my wonderful life in Guanajuato.

the good news are;
i think i am in love!
at last!

you put a smile upon my face.

onsdag 24. februar 2010

por siempre y para siempre

Aretha Franklin - I Say a Little Prayer

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever
and ever
you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever
and ever
we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together
forever
that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me, ooh

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever
and ever
you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever
and ever
we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together
forever
that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me
no body but me

My darling, believe me
For me there is no one but you
Please love me too
Answer my prayer
Answer my prayer now babe, oh-oh

Forever
and ever
you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever
and ever
we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together
forever
that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me, nobody but me

My darling, believe me
For me there is no one but you
Please love me too
Answer my prayer
Answer my prayer now babe
Say you love me too
Answer it right now babe
Answer my prayer

- translated into spanish by yours truly:

Al instante que me desperte
antes de que me maquillarme
hago una pequeña oración por ti
mientras me peino ahora
y pienso que vestida ponerme
hago una pequeña oración por ti

Por siempre
y para siempre
permaneces en mi corazón
y voy a amarte
por siempre
para siempre
nosotros nunca nos separaremos
Juntos
para siempre
esto es como tiene que ser
al vivir sin ti
solo podría significar mi corazón roto

Corro hacia el bus, amor
mientras viajando pienso en nosotros amor
hago una pequeña oración por ti
En el trabajo solo tomando tiempo
y dentro la hora de café
hago una pequeña oración por ti

Por siempre
para siempre
permaneces en mi corazón
y voy a amarte
por siempre
para siempre
nosotros nunca separaremos
oh, como voy a amarte
Juntos
Para siempre
esto es como tiene que ser
al vivir sin ti
solo podría significar mi corazón roto

hago una pequeña oración por ti
hago una pequeña oración por ti

Mi amor, creeme
Para mi no hay nadie como tu
Por favor, amame también
(Escuchara su oración ahora nene)
Estoy enamorada de ti
(Escuchara su oración nene)
Escuchara mi oración

Por siempre
para siempre
permaneces en mi crazón
oh, como voy a amarte
Juntos
para siempre
esto es como tiene que ser
al vivir sin ti
solo podría significa mi corazón roto.



I spent alot of time doing this, and go a little help from Lourdes. But when I searched for another translation of the song, it turns out mine was quite different. Take a look:

DESDE EL MOMENTO EN QUE ME DESPIERTO,
ANTES DE PONERME EL MAQUILLAJE,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.
MIENTRAS ME PEINO,
Y ME PREGUNTO QUÉ VESTIDO PONERME AHORA,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.

PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, TE QUEDARÁS EN MI CORAZÓN
Y YO TE AMARÉ.
PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, NUNCA NOS SEPARAREMOS.
OH, CÓMO TE AMO.
JUNTOS, PARA SIEMPRE, ASÍ ES CÓMO DEBE SER.
VIVIR SIN TI
SÓLO SIGNIFICARÍA UN CORAZÓN ROTO PARA MÍ.

CORRO AL ÓMNIBUS, QUERIDO,
MIENTRAS VIAJO PIENSO EN NOSOTROS, QUERIDO,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.
EN EL TRABAJO ME TOMO UN TIEMPO
Y DURANTE TODO MI DESCANSO PARA TOMAR CAFÉ,
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.

PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, TE QUEDARÁS EN MI CORAZÓN
Y YO TE AMARÉ.
PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, NUNCA NOS SEPARAREMOS.
OH, CÓMO TE AMO.
JUNTOS, PARA SIEMPRE, ASÍ ES CÓMO DEBE SER.
VIVIR SIN TI
SÓLO SIGNIFICARÍA UN CORAZÓN ROTO PARA MÍ.

REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.
REZO UNA PEQUEÑA ORACIÓN POR TI.

MI QUERIDO, CRÉEME,
PARA MÍ NO EXISTE NADIE MÁS QUE TI!
POR FAVOR ÁMAME TÚ TAMBIÉN.
Y YO ESTOY ENAMORADA DE TI.
RESPONDE A MI RUEGO AHORA, CARIÑO.

PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, TE QUEDARÁS EN MI CORAZÓN
Y YO TE AMARÉ.
PARA SIEMPRE JAMÁS, NUNCA NOS SEPARAREMOS.
OH, CÓMO TE AMO.
JUNTOS, PARA SIEMPRE, ASÍ ES CÓMO DEBE SER.
VIVIR SIN TI
SÓLO SIGNIFICARÍA UN CORAZÓN ROTO PARA MÍ.

søndag 21. februar 2010

she took me to a gay bar! gay bar!

last night me, my host sister Patty, and host mother Lourdes, went to a private gay bar called "Wish". we were cordinally invited by the boss. we were almost the only (real) ladies there. The audience acted rather rude by my opinion when the strippers entered some time around midnight. they were touching and stroking and grapping the dancer´s asses as if they were animals!!! i sure hope the dancers dance bc they want to, and not cus they have too...how horrible to be treated as an object like that. oh well, i wont deny that perhaps i objectifyed the good looking dancers from the table i was sitting, but at least i didnt walk up and grap theyre juicy stuff (ok ok, there is an picture of me looking like that, but the dancer invited me to do it!!)




fredag 19. februar 2010

the best day i can ever remember

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race from self-control.
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine.
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

The words are hushed, let's not get busted.
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered;
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey, did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close,
They can't hear, so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember.
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair,
That you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late.
And this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it and I let you in,
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist,
And you kissed me like you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it.
That you meant it, that you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

mandag 15. februar 2010

las cosas de la vida...

Fikk nylig en daarlig nyhet angaaende en venninne fra latinamerikastudiene i Norge. Ord kan aldri fullt dekke hvordan man kan takle slike hendelser. Mine tanker gaar foerst og fremst til de som stod henne naermest. I slike tilfeller kan man bare hedre minnet om personen og bevare de gode minnene.

Livet er som en rollercoaster. I disse dagene har mye bra skjedd og jeg har vaert lykkelig. Valentinsdagen var det samme. Saa skjer dette og perspektivet paa tilvaerelsen blir med ett snudd. Jeg har mange tanker og mange ting aa bearbeide.

fredag 12. februar 2010

better when we´re together

las night was a melancholic day for me
but it ended great and with a smile upon my face
when i returned home at night
there was a rose lying on my pillow
i like that and this might be the beginning of something new

there are some emotional things ive managed to make a mess out of
and i intend to make them right, as far as its possible


thats all for now, im off to meet the other exchange students to go play some sports! of course, i brought my volleyball! :) later

torsdag 11. februar 2010

deep shit thoughts about the coexistence between loneliness and independency

so here i am again, at the internet café that lies between San Roca y San Fernando. i like to come here with a coffee after class and take my time on the world wide web; disconnect myself for a while, while i connect myself to my life back in Norway.

even though most days are sunny, unfortunately not all days within are likewise. there aren´t really anything big that makes me feel like this, some of these days. sometimes i get myself down and i curse myself for my own foolishness and my inability to change. they say that change comes without yourself noticing it...and i hope this is true., but i cant really see any signs. i am thinking that i might as well still be 16. for a while i pretended to brush all dirt off my shoulders, and ignore all the unpleasant things that would occur to me. i distanced myself mentally from the things that i needed to deal with.

little did i know that one day i would have to untangle every little crux of my issues, one by one...and rewind from Z to A. now i am getting some perspective on things.
i have always embraced the fact that i am an independent person and that i really dont need anyone but myself. for gods sake, i even tattooed "i walk alone" on my foot! in certainty that this was an unchangable and ever present fact; in which i choose to define myself. but at the same time a have this insane need of intimacy; but i can never give myself completely over to someone else. because i dont need them. i want my freedom, my liberty and my impulsiveness. if i let those qualities go - who would i then be? cus everyone knows that if you lose youself, you lose everything. but, what occured to me when sitting on the bus between San Miguel de Allende and Guanajuato the other week, is that this choice of solitude and the physical need for attention, simply do not collide. for too long have i been unaware of this dysfunctional relationship. who can live like that? it only leads to depression and dissatisfaction. exhausting!

what i came to realize is that: i am moving towards the wrong urge. in stead of moving towards the people, i withdrdaw myself to isolation; while telling myself this is a good thing. as long as i am independent, everything will be all right. but this is a lie. there is such a thing as being too independant. because you will end of alone. which might be my greatest fear of them all. and if i continue like this...well. i am 21 years old. i am still damn young. i have 21 summers, 21 new year´s eves, 21 birthdays. but how many loves can i look back at?

rapid change is overrated and i am weak, especially when it comes to my own promises. but i hope change will come, poco a poco. i hope one day i will have an awakening and understand that what is bad isn´t good for me. if you follow. i am tired of going in circles.

"Yeah, it's always better when we're together"
- jack johnson

mandag 8. februar 2010

roadtrip to Rioverde

This weekend I, Coleman fra USA, Francois and Mari from France and Julieta from Argentina to a water resort outside of the pueblocito de Rioverde, a good 5 hour drive from Guanajuato. We took the bus from Gto.to Leon, where we continued our trip in a rented car to La Luna. The dusty road from Rioverde and out to the green water of La Luna was very bumpy, with holes in the road, which made our car severely dirty...oh well, its not us who need to clean it:p
We were super psycked to get into the water after the long drive. Fortunately, the weather was also on our side, and we enjoyed the super warm water in the sun., and I was happy to absorb the long wanted mexican sun on my still oh-so-pale winter skin. The water was clear as a summer day.

Later we went looking for some vegetables and some carne to make a BBQ at the resort. we drove around looking in vain for a place that was still open in order to get some meat, but no. but we were able to find guacamole, avocado, union, potatoes, tomatoes, salt, salsa,tortillas and of course some beer. we grilled the vegatable in the light of Colemans headlight. It was really good! At midnight we decided to go swimming in the dark. the water was still warm, super neat. although it was really cold getting up, it was worth it. i took a warm shower afterwards, and I am pretty sure it was the best shower I have ever had. Orgasmic! heheh
We had rented a little cabin with three double beds. I shared my bed with Francois., he was a gentleman lol. we drove home the next day and we all agreed that it had been a nice weekend trip:)