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onsdag 24. september 2008

sex like men?

This is what I'm contemplating upon this late wednesday night:
- Can a woman have sex like a man?


I raise the question if women are capable of having sex with no ‘feelings’(as many would agree is how men can have sex)? Are women genetically programmed to want sex to ‘mean’ something? Or, to put it another way, is there really any difference between the genders when it comes to the issue of casual sex?

I was inspired to write some random thoughs on this subject after watching an episode of 'Sex in the City', where Carrie wrote an issue on this question. Personally, I am not so sure. Don't get me wrong; I would love to agree to this statementthe and by that have a feminist perspective on sex. Because along with the sexual revolution, there's shouldn't be any reason as to why women, supposedly, feel bad after casual sex.

But in all honesty, I just can't get my head around the idea of having 'emotionless' sex, without any form of meaning or conseqenses. Some would say "its just sex", but in reality, it's never just sex. I think that females who make sex a 'sport', somewhere down the road end up phychically damaged. I think it lies in every womans nature to ask moral questions to themselves. Age and amount of experience should also be considered into this.

I think 'one night stands' are OKAY, as long as its not practiced too often. For some women, chasing highs -in the meaning of having free sex- might be experienced as a power trip. Sure, you can have fun with a guy for one night only... But if this becomes an addiction, the person involved would end up hurt on a psychological level. Much like drugs, sex is a short term pleasure that, when handled incorrectly, can lead to serious long-term problems. Because by having sex like amimals, you downgrade yourself to become a product. And human beings are more than simple products. We have feelings, we have conciousness, we have independent thoughts and we ask questions as to why things are the way they are. Meaning, life's not a game. If you make sex a game, somewhere along the play, you will lose. And after doing so, you realize the only one playing this game, is yourself.

My view: If someone is having sex with you only for the sake of sex; he/her doesn't respect you enough to have a relationship with you. And that's not sufficient. We are more intelligent beings than that. This is what seperates us from the other creatues on the earth. If we do so, we are but simple animals. There's gotta be more.

Therefore, no. I do not think women can have sex like men, or should I say animals. Which raises another question; can men really have sex with no feelings? Or is this just a view that's enforced on us by the macho community we're living in? I'm positive that there are men that are hurt by one-nighters; who feels bad or empty of whatever... They just can't express their feelings as much as woman are able to. And at that; who's really the most envolved sex? Are women and men genetically bound to have different view on sex? Eventhough both sexes have conciousness; men are bound by hundreds of thousands of years of DNA breeding... Maybe the act of reproduction just lies in mens nature. I guess the answer is not black and white.

“Conventional feminism teaches that control of your body means the freedom to have sex without consequences — sex like a man. ‘I am an unconventional feminist, in the sense that she asserts control by choosing not to have sex — by telling men, no, absolutely not.” - Harvard student and abstinence-crusader Janie Fredell.

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