"the first time i've seen her smile"

i was at volleyball practice the other day, and i was setting up the net. the guys have their practices next to us, and one of them were kind enough to help me get set up. their coach said: "don't help the girls! help us!" and laughed. then I replied: "nooo; he's a gentleman," and smiled. then coach said: "thats actually the first time i've seen her smile". what?



is that really how people think of me? do i appear to be a grumpy bitch in unfamiliar people's eyes? devastating if true.
but all is relative, i tell myself. this guy has seem me in volleyball settings, and volleyball is an activity i guess i dont prioritate laughter. i asked a friend if that is how people see me, and she said no. i hope she's right.

in other news, my old room mate from cuba has finally got a facebook profile. i haven't seen her since december of last year. and i haven't really heard much from her either. she married her cuban boyfriend and they are now in norway together. crazy story. making contact with her again felt good. i started looking at different cuba pictures on facebook, and i came across a photo of my ex. i totally froze. i haven't heard or seen anything to him since the day i left. it was a clean cut, i guess you could say... all the months following our departing i focused hard on forgetting. it took some time, ill admit that, but i did manage it. and now, seeing him in a picture in some girl's album, were incredibly odd. it made me wonder:
what are you doing now? on the other side of the world.



do you think about me now and then?
in the picture he's wearing a pink arm band that says: "I <3 NERDS". i gave that to him on our first date... appearantly he's still wearing it. smile.